Sleepwalking in Dreaming State

missyoubloggie

2008-11-08T04:40:00.000-08:00

ang tagal ko ng walang post :( sorry no time. be back when i get my feet back on the ground.

are you happy?

2008-07-01T08:18:00.000-07:00

..found an interesting article on the net which made me think that being happy isn't really on the things that we ought to have, but on the satisfaction we can fulfill ourselves with in living it out :) it's a choice.

Study: The World gets HAPPIER.

Despite the anxieties of these times, happiness has been on the rise around the world in recent years, a new survey finds.

The upbeat outlook is attributed to economic growth in previously poor countries, democratization of others, and rising social tolerance for women and minority groups.

"It's a surprising finding," said University of Michigan political scientist Ronald Inglehart, who headed up the survey. "It's widely believed that it's almost impossible to raise an entire country's happiness level."

Denmark is the happiest nation and Zimbabwe the the most glum, he found. (Zimbabwe's longtime ruler Robert Mugabe was sworn in as president for a sixth term Sunday after a widely discredited runoff in which he was the only candidate. Observers said the runoff was marred by violence and intimidation.)

The United States ranks 16th.

The results of the survey, going back an average of 17 years in 52 countries and involving 350,000 people, will be published in the July 2008 issue of the journal Perspectives on Psychological Science. Researchers have asked the same two questions over the years:

"Taking all things together, would you say you are very happy, rather happy, not very happy, not at all happy?" And, "All things considered, how satisfied are you with your life as a whole these days?"

A Happiness Index created from the answers rose in 40 countries between 1981 and 2007, and it fell in the other 12.

Scientists had thought happiness is stable over time when looking at entire societies. "Most previous research suggests that people and nations are stuck on a 'hedonic treadmill,'" Inglehart said. "The belief has been that no matter what happens or what we do, basic happiness levels are stable and don't really change."

So Inglehart's team was surprised that happiness "rose substantially." They speculate reasons for the sunny outlooks include societal shifts in recent decades: Low-income countries such as India and China have experienced unprecedented rates of economic growth; dozens of medium-income countries have democratized; and there has been a sharp rise of gender equality and tolerance of ethnic minorities and gays and lesbians in developed societies.

Previous research has found that happiness is partly inherited and that money doesn't buy much of it.

Yet the new survey finds people of rich countries tend to be happier than those of poor countries. And controlling for economic factors, certain types of societies are much happier than others.

"The results clearly show that the happiest societies are those that allow people the freedom to choose how to live their lives," Inglehart said.

A survey released last week found one reason America doesn't top the list: Baby Boomers are generally miserable compared to other generations. Further, a public opinion poll released by the Pew Research Center in April found that 81 percent of Americans say they believe the country is on the "wrong track." The response is the most negative in the 25 years pollsters have asked the question.

-Yahoo news

things/people/events that recently made me happy:

*God's unfailing love

*angel

*ipod

*aot birthday celebs and get togethers

*back to school with str8.A

.xoxo.

bliss

2008-06-21T00:59:00.000-07:00

If you’re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you’re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don’t need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don’t need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you’re not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you’re not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don’t know why you’re so far away
But I know that this much is true
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you’re the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

‘Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
‘ Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right
And though I can’t be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side

lost

2008-06-02T20:56:00.000-07:00

i want my appetite back :(

i want m&m's

2008-06-02T00:08:00.000-07:00

it's 2days before my birthday. and I'm still sick with flu and a sore throat :(
still have unclear plans on what to do that day.
I hope I'll enjoy.

~there is NO ONE else for me, NONE BUT JESUS.

another sommersault season fades away

2008-05-30T22:59:00.000-07:00

..today is the last day of May. and uh.. I'm home. a bum. a total bum. ilang oras nlng at tapos na ang summer, officially. and i havent had the getaway i've craved for.. :( ang sad. though i've had pretty good ones, the camp, outing, chillin' sa mall.. but the incredible sunset at the beach, endless kwentos over bonfire by the sea, and ultimate camwhoring moments with my favorite friends in the whole wide world.. WALA. I guess everyone's been pre-occupied the whole vacation. not to mention na i've only had uh, 2 weeks of bakasyon, yes only 2wks dahil sa summer.. aun. i guess i'm just gonna have to wait for summer next year to fulfill the craving, by then i'll be saying goodbye to college and i'm looking forward to having a good one. :)

anyhoo, here are few snapshots of my so-called 'summer' this year:

Summer Class Tambays

all days of April-May

CBC Youth Camp '08
May 14-17, Majayjay, Laguna

CBC Family Outing

Sitio Lucia, Bulacan

Hillsong United: Live in Manila
May 26, Araneta Coliseum

(lucky to have a meet&greet pass)

..and the rest was history :) pictureless are some of the days of malling and chillin. and oh, I still have a Cotillion (tama ba spelling? whatever beaver.) to dance away too, though it's still on the 14th..wala pkong gown! err. the Hillsong Praise and Worship was awesome. it's an awesome experience of live worship :) and i saw some familiar faces too. oh well, this is it for the moment.. 3days, before my birthday. so looking forward ;)

the mood: it's saturday. too bad will miss the last day of Pyro Olympics because I'm having colds and lil cough too. sooo couch potato.

the song: 'CONSTANTLY, You're on my mind. thinking bout you all the time. I can't sleep, no matter what I do, I just keep on thinking about you.'

tu me manques.

xoxo

2008-05-13T08:32:00.000-07:00

..lovin' GossipGirl ;) ngayon lang ako nagkaron ng time manood. tama silang lahat.. ang ganda! err. but i still have to download the other episodes. anyways, i'm off to Laguna tomorrow for the camp. can't barely sleep, ekssayted :) 5days to go, summer classes are over.

wuhoo. :)

homaygad higad

2008-05-10T00:07:00.000-07:00

summer classes are about to end. wuhoo ;) 7 days to go! yey. hay, sa wakas finally, i could make liwaliws na, though kahit ngayong summer ay everyday liwaliw..hehe, i want to go somewhere. somwhere malayo. and kahit tagulan na, gusto ko pading mag-beach! err. i really, really, really, need a getaway. tsk. di bale, after summer.. And oh, I'm gonna be having swimming classes (too late na diba) after my summer. err, 'rents kasi eh, they wanted para daw pag nagF.a ako. haay, i don't even know kung magapply ako for that.. but well, sunod nalang muna.

malapit narn ang june, which means.. malapit na ang birthday ko!! wuhoo. yipee. yehey. I'm looking forward to a happy one actually. Ngayon na masaya nako sa buhay ko ;p though i've still been battling kung anong gagawin ko. family wanted me to throw a party. since hindi ako nakapagdebut, sa dahilang ayaw ko..haha! they're throwing the party actually kaso, uhm.. the thing is.. i wanted an ipod. haha! napakamaterialistic ko. now daddy's asking me what i like, it's either a party or an ipod. hmm... tough one. gusto ko din naman ng party eh, un nga lang, what ive planned for myself is that when i turn 25 nlng sana or maybe on my 23rd. ung bonggacious na, at ung ako ung gagastos..kasi nga gusto ko bongga ;) arte tlga. o well, i still have 2 weeks to decide. i hope i can decide. haha! anyways, i still have to post my birthday wishlist, i know. it's a tradition. haha! though these are just of the stuffs i wanted right now. not a need but a want. ;)

ansaya. homaygad higad ;)

*Wishaboos*
1. starbucks tumbler
2. colored skinny jeans (yellow shempre)
3. new trusty bible (gusto ko ung cute)
4. Ipod nano video
5. N81 (yes baby)
6.oversized bag
7. new haircut (i guess ako lang ang makakfulfill neto)
8. gossip girl dvd
9. maybelline mascara
10. new havs
11. 'i heart manila' tee at bayo
12. jansport backpack
13. a hug from everyone i love
14. a smile from everyone that greets
15. a prayer from everyone that cares

..anyone give me anything from here, i will love you for the rest of my life ♥

celebrating my birthday last year Sbx with benz and the others.

currently: excited.
to come: Youth Camp, 14th.

*'coz You and I both loved, what you and i spoke of. ♥

here i go again

2008-05-03T06:22:00.000-07:00

should i blame love for making me think about him everyday?

or should i blame him for making me feel this way?.. ♥

bookworm

2008-04-23T06:55:00.000-07:00

..some excerpts from THE WEDDING by Nicholas Sparks that i loved, i just had to share it. ;)

".. while wounds can be inflicted easily upon those we love, it's often much more difficult to heal them. yet the process of healing those wounds provided the richest experience in my life."

"..But most of all, I learned that it's possible for two people to fall in love all over again, even when there had been a lifetime of disappointment between them."

"..yet because i failed her in many ways too frequent to count."

"the stars weren't always in alignment, but tonight they seemed to be."

" but love, I've come to understand, is more than three words mumbled before bedtime. love is sustained by action, a pattern of devotion in the things we do for each other everyday."

"i often find myself filled with longing, though I'm at lost to tell you what is it that i feel my life is missing."

" that's what i mean when i said I did it for me. every time i need her, it was like I was courting her, because sometimes, just sometimes, she would fall in love with me again just like she had a long time ago. and that's the most wonderful feeling in the world. how many people are given that chance? to have someone you love fall in love with you over and over?"

pitched

2008-04-06T09:54:00.000-07:00

WHATT?!!! bagsak ako sa french?!!

great. just great.

haay, ayoko nang magsalita dahil nagkakasala lang ako. si Lord na ang bahala sa anakngtinapang professor na aun. there had been so much frustration and disappointment barely had the urge to smile. been so down but been picked up. and thanks, well yeah thanks.. for just about everything. you've been my source of strength and comfort through all this. thanks Lord. for just about everything.

..and oh, not to mention that someone you gave to show me the rainbows i have been longing all this time. ;) To God be ALL the glory. i just love Him.

over

2008-03-17T11:01:00.000-07:00

..hell week's finally over. wala na kong exams to worry about.. and wala nang defense, wala nang mam tores! yehey!! haha.. haay. with all the stress this sem had brought me, i think i needed a very relaxing break, though i had to admit that ive really not been that diligent..haha. one sem to go, then bye2 UST nko ;( anyways, highlights of the week:

with kah, before the defense..picture muna ;)

corporate attire daw eh..

..what I'm feeling now,

..i feel like i need someone who could give me rainbows
for all the rains coming into me..

lil more

2008-03-13T18:58:00.000-07:00

..konti nalang, im almost there to finishing this sem. haay.. goodbye ust nako :(

screwed

2008-03-06T19:22:00.000-08:00

..so tired of all this. everything just doesnt fall into their places.
Lord, Help me. I need faith.

ngarag

2008-03-05T08:05:00.000-08:00

..got so much to do. not enough time, and sleep. i miss my phone *sob*

oust gloria

2008-02-29T08:17:00.000-08:00

..WHATT?!! two weeks nalang, or almost a week of lectures nalang.. man.. vacation na ulit. darn, time really flies. the next thing I know, I'll be graduating na. weh. Practicum nako this year.. ayoko pang umalis sa UST! my beloved school :( btw, i saw someone today. Someone talked to few of my friends, and i bet someone didnt even asked for me. How sad, and how pathetic. of me of course. i hate it! i hate it because it just made me want to want him more. *aww* i don't know why I'm just the same as I was a year ago. haay. so much for my last day of february, darn crappy. and with all the issues going on with the country right now, parehas lang magulo lahat. sira phone ko!! omg. im gonna die, i miss my phone :((

wala akong maisip

2008-02-26T20:54:00.000-08:00

..no classes today. dahil sa symposium chuvaness. too lazy to attend. and for sure i'll be bamboozled dahil twice the attendance un. pft. aun, lungkot lungkutan ako kahapon. pero im glad someone's there for me.. so thankful for sweetfriend, made me happy. :) soularium and dinner with him kahapon.

up so early

2008-02-24T12:59:00.000-08:00

..it's 5am, and i just woke up. I'm going to an Ocular Inspection today of our camp venue that's why I'm up this early. ugh. so early. I've only had almost 8 hours of sleep lang simula the other day, so that makes me, or that gives me, rather, another batch of dreaded eye bags.

I've been into a rollercoaster of emotions kahapon. and i think God had pretty much tested me with it, unfortunately i failed. I have let my emotions, especially anger, to eat me, alive. haay, and worse i remembered something, someone. i don't know why I kept of dreaming of him the past few days, and it's not the ordinary dream ha. It's sweet. and it's impossible. Mag-ke-KC ako. I've made up mind. and I'm getting a little bit excited everyday, and my fear becomes bigger each day too. I dunno, I trust God that everything will fall into it's own places.

burthdays

2008-02-22T06:12:00.000-08:00

..ok, so today is friday. the last day of the school week. my week has been uh..quite a boring one. medyo lang naman, since the other classmates were on a tour to China, medyo walang ginagawa. highlights nalang:

SUNDAY

Happy Birthday Ge :) with her McDreamy.

TUESDAY

UST chapter celebrated angge's bday sa hideout :) surprised by some revelations and flattered by it din. saya.

THURSDAY

Soularium with Sweetfriend and dinner with him as well.

TOMORROW

Happy Birthday Matt! my dearest brother.

..i just watched Enchanted pala and i loved it. Fairy tale tlga. and I'm loving Jon Mclaughlin's - So Close which is in the soundtrack, and Colbie Calliat's - Realize. haay, kakainlove ♥

of mediocrity and confessions

2008-02-20T00:16:00.000-08:00

..didnt go to school today, so lazy to. haay, natamaditis nanaman ako. sometimes i just wanted to hit myself para bumalik lang ako sa katinuan. pft. i have my monthly 'visit' din kase that's why im like this. it's my first day khapon and as usual dysmenorrhea, but talk about the wonders of beer. it's not that bad at all, after a bottle, nawala lahat ng nararamdaman kong sakit. galing! though im not really a drinker i want to affirm the beer for making my day kahapon. we celebrated my angge's bday too, kahapon. UST chapter nga lang, minus benz, plus the ME boys. saw my Mcdreamy, pro hindi ako pinansin. hmp. anyhoo, it's a day of revelations too. and i received a few affirmations which i didnt really know not until they've confessed it. haay,. aun, my life is such a mediocre right now. still have lots of things to work on.

how my L♥VE week went

2008-02-15T08:37:00.000-08:00

i have all the time in the world to blog, i was just really lazy to do it..haha! maybe because i thought sleeping more than the usual would be more satisfying. but i was wrong, i missed blogging more than anything i else i could do online :) but i think I'm gonna do it with a weekly variable just like my precedent post kahit na i have a lot of stories to tell. especially na it's the love week ngaun, but i think im gonna have to have a seperate post for that, ibang usapan muna yan :) here goes my week:

SUNDAY:
I'm with Achi in CCP to watch the play "iLaughYou" just because i needed extra points in my Lit205 class, im that desperate dahil lagi akong absent dun.haha! had a light dinner at Starbucks Harbour Square and sister bonding as well. :)

MONDAY:
uhm,i actually can't remember how my day went..haha! all i can remember is that, ive had a very boring day.

TUESDAY:
galileo day. Had an excruciating exam, and our reward? Wala si Mam Torres! yey. Daig pa namin ang nanalo sa lotto. uhm, ok exage, parang fiesta lang. hehe.

WEDNESDAY:
Pre-Valentines date with Bestfriend, Achi and Sasa :) Greenbelt after our nakakabadtrip na presentation sa Lit. Had dinner at National Sports Grill then the stable Sbux. i saw the very yummy Diether Ocampo din :)

THURSDAY, Heart's Day :
galileo muna,then an excruciating recitation in StratMa then I'm off to Seaside MOa with AOT, discussed a few issues, laughed hard, had so much fun. Single awareness day. haha!

FRIDAY:
RedBox with AOT, then dinner with my sibs, bumped into Shoti then to Panje, White Chocolate Mocha to complete my day.

..ok so that's how my love week went :) so satisfied. enjoying my singlehood. I'm loving it. ♥ *all smiles*

whattaweek

2008-02-08T06:25:00.000-08:00

..it's the end of the work week. ang bilis ng araw no? prang the other day lang,it was the very crappy monday i had to endure and then parang friday na agad.. gara. anyhoo, kkwento ko nlng happenings this week with what my memory has to say :)

MONDAY

i can remember it had been a very crappy one. I've had a few errands to run for some hoeworks and it's ate me all, alive. and what's worse, i remember having a bad hair day despite my new do. crappy isnt it?

TUESDAY

well,uh after the very confusing monday.. galileo day is tuesday. had to wake up early because 7am ang class ko only then to find out na we had to attend a symposium which extended up to our break,and wala ung 230pm class namin so i ended up cutting the 4pm class that i have, fortunately,hindi daw nagattendance ung prof so okey lang. it's billiards and bboy for benz this day :) bonded with the usuals minus tey. (ge,lloyd,ken,benz) and saw my McDreamy too :)

camwhoring with Teta sa washroom after the symposium.

WEDNESDAY

I've had fun this day. first subject: COCKTAIL mixing. oh yeah. ang agang inuman :) had fun tasting the cocktails mixed by the speaker. some of it are: margarita,long island iced tea,tequila sunrise,maitai and more. and it's blowjob cocktail for Teta and Chia ,the lucky bitches. supposed to go to duty free with the family but hindi natuloy,just had dinner with the rest of the gang.

and oh, Happy Birthday DK :) it's ash wednesday for the devouts.

our instructor, a professional bartender. forgot his name, haha!

THURSDAY

It's hell day for galileo,4 friggin hours in the lab doing all the exercises. i remember having a terrible backpain that morning that disabled me throughout the day. ugh. but had a good time at soularium with sweetfriend Jan. prayed a lot. and laughed a lot.

FRIDAY

Just a day, just an ordinary day, just trying to get by. ok enough with the song.. yes, it's Vanessa Carlton's ordinary day. nothing really interesting happened, except that Tey had an accident kaninang afternoon. it's a good thing she's safe just suffered a few minor injuries. I't s second life for her.

aun..there goes my week. tomorrow I'll be attending Edz's Debut party in Diamond. Hope it turns out good. :) no boylet encounters for this week. haha! Valentines na! toink.

saturday

2008-02-02T06:18:00.000-08:00

..im broke. yes. i am. haha! ive been spending impulsively a lot lately and i had to admit im quite baon sa ilang utangs which i have to make ipon to make bayad pa. ive had a very 'sayang' na saturday..but then again,i could consider it as one pero kasi ive had my haircut today. yey! ive been desperate for one buti nlng there was a vacant sked sa bench fix, :) anyways, after having the haircut with two of my fave girls in the whole world, benz and ge, (they had theirs too) we went to USTe supposedly to watch a basketball game between Eng'g and AB, but then we sensed na mainit sa loob ng gym so we just killed time at tumambay sa field. aun, we ended up waiting for tey then eating isaw sa p.noval. aun, twas my day, and im pretty happy about my hair naman. :)

..layered lang,but i love it :)

the usual? nah..

2008-01-27T08:30:00.000-08:00

Better days are ahead if you let them.

Strolling along in school with two of my stable friends with their boyfriends, when few of my classmates happened to pass by..

Classmate: ‘oh tin, ikaw lang?! kuha ka na ulit ng partner mo.’

i just smiled and said: ‘ok lang! haha..”

It’s pretty weird, but I know it’s factual. For the first time, it felt good to say that. It felt happy. It felt REAL. That it had no dry feeling, no self pity, no fake smiles that I had to show, because without it, it just wouldn’t be me. A sudden gush of emotions came rushing in, I was silent for a while.. in deep thinking. The thoughts, the ideas, the reasons that have become transparent.. They all felt real. All this, the realities that bit me hard, are just one of the few lessons I have to learn, and it is because I need to grow. I was feeling weird yet I know it was right. That maybe, I really am the one that deprives myself to be free, to be happy.. that maybe I am, after all, a good company to myself, and that I don’t need someone to complete me. To be alone but happy.

I’m moving.

Yes, I’m really moving, and I couldn’t be happier. J it’s true indeed, that one of the greatest feelings in the world is feeling good after you’ve been feeling awful, after you’ve been feeling hurt. It feels good, sooo good J to realize that I’ve been strong all along. The last one had done enough damage to last for a lifetime, and so I’m giving up.

“When you can’t remember when you’re hurt, that’s when you’re healed.”

Perhaps I’m not yet there, maybe I’m not even ready.. but I will be, soon enough when my TRUE PRINCE would come and get me. The one He will send to bring me my rainbows again. As for now, I’m enjoying my company.. Soul-searching and moving. I’ve been into sorts of pain, and I’m picking up the pieces and finally remembering where I’ve left them.

And to myself, you’re stronger this time attagirl, you’re one of a kind :)

~bises.

‘Coz tonight the world begins again.

“The moment she asked herself what it all meant, the answers seemed to supply themselves in unexpected ways, as though they had been awaiting the question from her all this time”

first post

2008-01-07T00:23:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR! to me., haha!

whew, it's been a year. oh yeah, and it's one hellofa year for me. this is not my annual look-upon-last-year post yet, im too lazy to post it up pa, because i'll still be waiting for our dsl to arrive, hoooray for that.. maybe pagdumating nalang. hehe.. anyways, pasukan na ulit. haay Lord, all i need is diligence and patience to keep up with the schooling hype. i BADLY need it to survive. haha! cge na, i'll be having my 6-7 class pa eh,pft. ttfn.

im dreaming of a white CHRISTmas

2007-12-25T08:11:00.000-08:00

..it's three days to go! Christmas na. :) my favorite season besides summer. simply
because most people seem to be in a very good mood during the holidays and it's a very
heartwarming season too, to celebrate with family and friends not to mention the celebration
of the true meaning of it, my ultimate savior/friend/confidant, my ultimate favorite, Jesus.
BUT! sadly im broke. im soo broke. huhuh.. i have to be a parasite to my 'rents and sister
just to be able to give a few gifts to my friends. pero that won't stop me from still, being
an ambisyosa myself.. (libre mangarap) :) this just means i have to post my wishlist this
Christmas. here it is:

1. my ultimate wish, Nokia 5310.
2. 2008 starbucks planner
3. devotional book
4. a Christian Bautista cd
5. new havs
6. 1gig sd card for my phone
7. a trip to spain (haha!)
8. lots and lots of chocolates!
9. boyfriend?! haha.

tula

2007-12-07T08:22:00.000-08:00

Tonight I can write the saddest lines

Pablo Neruda

♥ :(

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write, for example,'The night is shatteredand the blue stars shiver in the distance.'

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

I loved him, and sometimes he loved me too.

Through nights like this one he held me in his arms

he kissed me again and again under the endless sky.

he loved me sometimes, and I loved him too.

How could one not have loved his great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

To think that I do not have him.

To feel that I have lost him.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without him.

And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep him.

The night is shattered and he is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing.

In the distance. My soul is not satisfied that it has lost him.

My sight searches for him as though to go to him.

My heart looks for him, and he is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.

We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love him, that's certain, but how I loved him.

My voice tried to find the wind to touch him hearing.

Another's. He will be another's. Like my kisses before.

His voice. His bright body. His inifinite eyes.

I no longer love him, that's certain, but maybe I love him.

Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one he held me in his arms,

my soul is not satisfied that it has lost him.

Though this be the last pain that he makes me suffer

and these the last verses that I write for him.

.edited.

tara na! biyahe tayo.

2007-12-05T21:37:00.000-08:00

My Lakbayan grade is C-!

How much of the Philippines have you visited? Find out at Lakbayan!

Created by Eugene Villar.

..this one's cute. A C- for me, haha! i havent really been gone much dito sa perlas ng silangan considering na i live here. haha! oh well. maybe if i suceed and if i get that rich, i would really go and tour around the Philippines.

On my list to be visited are:

* CAM SUR! :)

i wanna go to their water recreation area and try some water sports.

* VIGAN

i wanna go and look at the old houses there.

*PAGUDPUD / HUNDRED ISLANDS

* EL NIDO, PALAWAN

* DAVAO

*BATANES

i want to see the extremely beautiful sunset at the north side of our country. they say it's pretty amazing.

..i simply can't wait. :)

sense and sensibility

2007-12-02T22:53:00.000-08:00

"..and i sit here, and wait. wait for nothing. all that occupies me is laziness,and it's eating me."

i didnt go to school today dahil na-tamaditis nanaman ako. haha! i think it's not gonna do something harmful naman because we only met our mwf class last week once, so okay pang umabsent. (i think.)

i think. i think nanaman. i tend to think a lot. i dunno, but i seldom speak out. i love to speak yes, to make daldal and all. mostly nonsense things, compared to what i was thinking. i tend to overthink at times that i worry about things beyond my concern. it's odd, because i merely consider myself as an introvert, but i come out being an extrovert afterall.
i don't know what's wrong, or if it's just me who's wrong. i don't feel sad, but i don't feel that happy neither.

philisophical suicide

2007-11-21T21:10:00.000-08:00

"im getting worse, everyday.."

..for a while that's what i think i am. and for a while,it has been me..it really has been me. i don't know why. i feel blank. i feel useless. i feel nothing.

in the midst of mediocrity

2007-11-19T17:19:00.000-08:00

..huwaatt?! im late for my quiz. im soo late. tae, i almost run pa naman just to get there as fast as i could. if only i could fly. sigh. sadly i cant, and im surprised of your tag. i've been bumping into you (and almost all the things that could remind me of you) a lot lately. i dunno what it means, and shit i still miss you. don't worry, i'l be ok.

piece of crap

2007-11-06T22:56:00.000-08:00

Dangerously In Love - Beyonce

I love you.

Baby I love you
You are my life
My happiest moments weren't complete
If you weren't by my side
You're my relationIn connection to the sun
With you next to me
There's no darkness I can't overcome
You are my raindrop
I am the sea
With you and God, who's my sunlight
I bloom and grow so beautifully
Baby, I'm so proud
So proud to be your girl
You make the confusion
Go all away
From this cold and messed up world.

I am in love with you
You set me free
I can't do this thing
Called life without you here with me
Cause I'm Dangerously In Love with you
I'll never leaveJust keep lovin' me
The way I love you loving me.
And I know you love me
Love me for who I am
Cause years before I became who I am
Baby you were my man
I know it ain't easy
Easy loving me
I appreciate the love and dedication
From you to me
Later on in my destiny
I see myself having your child
I see myself being your wife
And I see my whole future in your eyes
Thought of all my love for you
sometimes make me wanna cry
Realize all my blessings
I'm grateful
To have you by my side.
Every time I see your face
My heart smiles
Every time it feels so good
It hurts sometimes
Created in this world
To love and to hold
To feel
To breathe
To love you.
Dangerously in love
Can't do this thing
I love you , I love you, I love you
I'll never leave
Just keep on loving me
I'm in love with you
I can not doI cannot do anything without you in my life
Holding me, kissing me, loving me
Dangerously
I love you
Dangerously in love.

the best damn thing is missing

2007-09-05T19:31:00.000-07:00

..i miss this, i miss you.

When You're Gone

I always needed time on my own

I never thought I'd need you there when I cried

And the days feel like years when I'm alone

And the bed where you lie

Is made up on your side

When you walk away

I count the steps that you take

Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone

The pieces of my heart are missing you

When you're gone

The face I came to know is missing too

When you're gone

The words I need to hear to always get me through the day

And make it ok

I miss you

cures for a broken heart

2007-07-18T20:07:00.000-07:00

"Sometimes I wish I were a little kid again; skinned knees are easier to fix than broken hearts." -Anonymous

There's very little in life that hurts as much as a broken heart. I always wished there were a guide on dealing with the pain of having loved and lost. So I'm gonna make an attempt at such a guide. Based on my many days dealing with a broken heart in what I call "the pain chamber," I'd like to share some thoughts on what's gotten me through:

First, listen to some country music.

Second, try listening to some country music.

Third, did I say country music?

Country songs cover some powerful lessons and wise teachings on handling the dark side of love. Depending on the day or the moment, any of the following tips might help...

1. Keep in mind that a broken heart is part of being human

Be wary of the person who hasn't dealt with a broken heart. No matter how strong you might be, if you're open to love, you're automatically vulnerable to pain. So don't feel bad if you’re in the pain chamber. Know that it's very normal and very much a part of being human. In "God Only Knows," Cynthia Ford sings about the unbearable pain that no amount of strength can overcome. She learns it's faith, not strength, that can get you through:

Somebody tell me if there's
any other way
I tried prayin' for strength
But it never came
So I'm praying for faith
Cuz God only knows
How hard this is for me

2. Light the fire

When dealing with heartbreak, sometimes it helps to get a little fired up! You can spend a lot of time bummed out and weeping, but at a certain point, it might help to get off your ass. Go for a run, lift some weights, scream if you must. Think Rocky Balboa meets the Karate Kid. In other words, get pumped. Check out Dierks Bentley's song "Forget About You" for inspiration:

I heard that ol' Jones song just the other day
'Bout a man who took that ol' broken heart to his grave
But I'll be damned if a memory's gonna lay me down
I might be walkin' around with a head full of air
Actin' kinda crazy but I don't care
This heart's barely beating, but I'll still be above the ground
I'll forget about you!

3. Take solace in the fact that things have a way of working out

It's hard to understand the first time your heart is broken. But over time, you come to realize that there's a certain rhyme and reason to life. As Garth Brooks sings, you may just become grateful for your "Unanswered Prayers":

She was the one that I'd wanted for all time
And each night I'd spend prayin' that God would make her mine
And if he'd only grant me this wish I wished back then
I'd never ask for anything again
Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs
That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers

4. Feel the pain

We can exhaust ourselves fighting the pain. Allowing yourself to feel the pain rather than resist it sometimes can be very healing.

_got this from the net, uhm.. wala lang, just wanted to share it. =)

*finally healing*

2007-07-16T20:27:00.000-07:00

..today is supposed to be a year of countless blessings. a year of countless joys. a year of countless trials. a year of constant togetherness. but then, it's just SUPPOSED to be.. if fate had been good at us.

song

2007-07-12T08:29:00.001-07:00

FALL AGAIN - GLENN LEWIS

FEELS LIKE FIRE , BURNS IN MY HEART
EVERY SINGLE MOMENT THAT WE SPEND APART
I NEED YOU AROUND FOR EVERY DAY TO START
I HAVEN’T LEFT YOU ALONE
SOMETHING ABOUT YOU ,STARING IN MY EYES
EVERYTHING LOOKING FOR I SEEM TO FIND
ALL THIS TIME AWAY IS KILLING ME INSIDE
I NEED YOUR LOVE IN MY LIFE
OH I WANNA SPEND TIME TILL IT ENDS
I WANNA FALL IN YOU AGAIN
LIKE WE DID ,WHEN WE FIRST MET
I WANNA FALL WITH YOU AGAIN

OHHHH

WE FOUGHT IN A BATTLE , NOBODY WON
NOW WE FACE A MOUNTAIN. TO BE OVERCOME
U CAN’T TURN AWAY, THE PAST IS SAID AND DONE
I NEED US TO CARRY ON

OH I WANNA SPEND TIME TILL IT ENDS
I WANNA FALL IN YOU AGAIN
LIKE WE DID ,WHEN WE FIRST MET
I WANNA FALL WITH YOU AGAIN
YEAHHH LA LA LA LA
WHOAA

YOU TRY EVERYTHING U NEVER THOUGHT WOULD WORK BEFORE
WHEN U LIVE WHEN U LOVE WHEN U GIVE WHEN U RUN U CAN ALWAYS GIVE UP SOME MORE
BABY NOTHING MEANS ANYTHING UNLESS YOU’RE HERE TO SHARE WITH ME
I CAN BREATHE I CAN LIVE I CAN DIE I CAN SLEEP
CUZ YOU’RE ALWAYS THERE IN MY DREAMS

OH I WANNA SPEND TIME TILL IT ENDS
I WANNA FALL IN YOU AGAIN
LIKE WE DID ,WHEN WE FIRST MET
I WANNA FALL WITH YOU AGAIN

I WANNA FALL WITH YOU AGAIN

..im just sooo in love with this song, haay,. it's for YOU.

autobots,roll out!

2007-07-11T18:45:00.000-07:00

..watched transformers kahapon with my dad and brother. man, superb. sobrang ganda i can't get over it. haha.. anyways, i find optimus prime gwapo if he were any human in form, and bumblebee cute as well. hehe. =)

late birthday post

2007-07-07T02:05:00.000-07:00

♪ dandadadan.. birthday girl.Ü

haay, there's soo much to say i dont even know where to start. well, my birthday this year turned out.. uhm.. great.fun.mixed emos. and all. aun, it was nearing 12 midnight, and i was waiting for 12 am greeters, one greeting unexpectedly came, 15 mins. early, i was of course anticipating it but i really didnt expected it would come that soon, it made me cry. mm.. ive had a very nice sleep as i cudve remembered, and woke up the next day with presents and letters from my family. i really had no plans of going out with anyone that day. but my friends, whom i soo love in the whole wide world had a party, uhm well, not so party for me in one of my friend's house. and so i went there, and they had ballons and party poopers na hindi gumana, haha! fake, and it was fun. of course, we've had lots of laugh trips at kulitan, and we ended up going to sm north because grets had to buy something and then headed off to starbucks to blow my cupcake. it was soo cute and with just that, i was really happy. aun, and then when i went home, a surprise cake which i really love (and which is actually the one i wanted for my birthday) nadatnan ko xa sa bahy and it was huge man! hehe.. anyways, it was soo yummy it just lasted for a week or so..

~kulet.. haha!

~best barkada in the whole wide world.

my last birthday, my debut was memorable. a very memorable one. not just because it was my debut, but it was when im celebrating it with someone. and now, i celebrated with without that someone and that really made my bday, uhm..somewhat lonely. BUT. thanks to my super flychic friends and family, they really made my bday worth celebrating because im with them. and with that, i realized na ang dame plang nagmamahal sken.. (aun, nagdrama na..hehe.) i mean, there's just soo much reasons for me to be happy that day because of the presence of the people around me that truly cares. and, i thank you from the bottom of my heart. =)

..im blowing my little treat. Ü

..realizing that i dont have you in my life right now is sad. so sad, that everyday i had to find a way to survive. but i still thank God for just about everything that's happening in my life right now, it made me strong and still filling me up with all that i'll ever need. and indeed, it's a blessing.

odd.bday.

2007-07-04T18:42:00.000-07:00

..i miss my bloggie, so match! just right now, i have just finisehd taking my practical and wirtten test in our computer subject. (akalain mo un may ganun pa kame, for the sake na magkasubject lang tlga..) anyways, idid well on the practical but the writtn sucked. wala akong alam..wahaha, anyways, tapos nako so i have all the time in the world para mag net. wee.. bbut i have to keep the size of the font small so nobody would see what i was writting. aun, i havent posted my birthday/mother's day/father's day entry, omigash! and today is my mom's birthday. haays, pc's bumemd nanaman kase. kainis tlga.. malapit ko na tlang sibakin ung pc na un eh..wahah. anyways, ive got a looong day ahead. it's almost 10 am plang and i was quite sleepy because i slept around past 12 na kanina because i was waiting for someone's call. and i had to say sorry to this SOMEONE because nakatulog ako kakaintay..haha, *peace* hay, im in soo much stress lately, emotional stress more..and dagdagan pa ng physical, aun,. bagsak. hehe.. anyways, ive got 3 classes pa today and im not gonna attend one, ung lit, uhm.. bsta! im too lazy to type, haha! hayy wish me luck. ttfn!

Happy Birthday to the greatest mom on earth, my MOM of course.

memoirs

2007-06-25T03:23:00.000-07:00

..awts. its been a while man. grabeh ang tagal ko nang walang post!! waah.. im sorry my dear bloggie, i missed you anyway. i soo missd blogging. well ive been really busy the last few weeks, or days? months? whaever. ang daming nangyare and one day really is incomplete to blog all of that i have in mind. anyways here are some of.. well, at least what i have recalled since the day i stopped blogging:

May 22, 2007

i resigned from work, not actually resigned but more of uhm,

stopped working or so, because the mere thinking about it exhausts me.

May 24-26

CBC Youth Camp '07 Extra-Extra Challenge 2

Pranjetto hills, Tanay, Rizal.

*ive had soo much fun there, and it's renewing as well. at least before

man alng nagpasukan. im the Camp Treasurer, and oh boy.. buti nlng walang

ganong fuss na nangyarre about it. =) camwhoring with friends as well. pics to follow.

June 3

pre-advising at school. had lunch with a few friends that i missd soo much.

June 4

no occasion. just an ordinary day. nah.. kidding. i wouldnt blog it here if it's

just an ordinary day will i? BIRTHDAY ko of course. i would have a

separate entry for this special day.

June 6 / 8

Happy Birthday kit & Nissan!

*these are one of my friends way back in highschool*

June 11/12

went to my uncle's wake. *sad* died of liver cancer*

June 13

First Day of Classes

*ndi ako pumasok yet dhil im too much of a tamad pa*

June14

i was supposed to go straight to my classes that day but thanks to

my two good friends, kah and teta.. they scramed me to go with them nalang,

aun.. Gloria Jeans at Robinson's Ermita. Meet up with my bestie sasa later that night.

*You saw me.*

June 15

haay, still didnt go to class.. *pasaway* i mean i attended my 11-1 class but the prof is not in..

so we decided to scram nlng din since our next class is not until 3pm.. katamad!

Mayric's Espana. Meet up with bestie Kevin later the day, had dinner with him and bonding of course.

Had a very unexpected call later that night. i missed him. i ws in tears.

*i saw you.*

June 21

Happy birthday Lala!!

*bonding with the girls sa MOA. had soo much fun. Razon's. tokyo. seattles. = Fun*

-i missed you so much AGAIN-

June 25

Happy Birthday Sed!

*missed this biyotch so much*

..ayan! so far, yan ang nareremember ko. haha! there had been a lot more things but syempre i cant' blog them na all in here. haay, now that school had started, i dont know if i'll be blogging more or less.. pc's down (again!) and i think ill be a lot more busy than ive ever been. Event's Mngement class is here and ive got 2 maths and an acounting on my load, (darn,!) but il still try everyonce in a while since i have no til 7pm classes anymore, (hooray for that.) aun, so much for mssing you my dear bloggie and the readrs as well. ttfn!

..oh ive got a new phone for my birthday pla. i soo love it. *wink*

jumping into gemini

2007-05-21T20:32:00.001-07:00

It's Gemini's turn on the zodiac.

..i was browing on yahoo just a while ago when i suddenly came across one of their features for today, the Geminis. There's the horoscope of course and some of the famous Gemini celebrities. check out what i enjoyed:

Gemini May 21 - June 21

Monthly Love for May, 2007
Provided by Astrology.com

One of the best things about you, when it comes to romantic communications, is that you're able to cut out all of the small talk and get right to the point. This is great, and it's a skill that will come in handy on the 1st and 2nd, when you're talking to somebody who really pushes all the right romantic buttons. What's not always so great about your directness is that you sometimes rush things -- while it's good to get right to the point, it does take time to figure out if a particular relationship is the right one for you. This month, work on slowing down. Get to know them a little bit before you make any big decisions. Hold off with your directness for a little while. By the 6th and 7th, you have a great opportunity to take things slower, when somebody you think is very cute suggests speeding things up. The 13th and 14th, a problem could arise that will make you glad that you're spending time with this person before committing your whole self to them. By the 19th, you could be feeling ready to share more of your private space. Go ahead, if you think it's the right thing to do. The 23rd and 24th, whether you want to stay or go, be gentle with them. The 29th and 30th, finish the month with a little more straight talk.

Famous Geminis

Angelina Jolie, June 4; kabirthday ko!

Marilyn Monroe, June 1

Naomi Campbell, May 22

other celebs with no picturs, i was too lazy to get theirs na..:

Brooke Shields, May 31

Anna Kournikova, June 7

Natalie Portman, June 9
Johnny Depp, June 9

Paul Mccartney, June 18

Paula Abdul, June 19

Nicole Kidman, June 20

..twas fun knowing they're geminis too. =) im not a zodiac kind of person really, i dont actually believe them, funny knowing it though, it matches some of my personalities. aun, 12 days before my birthday, and angelina jolie's too. ttfn!

last day

2007-05-21T18:06:00.000-07:00

..hooray for my last day at work. haay, last day na nga lang pro it seems na pinakamahirap na task ang nabigay sken ngayon,. haay.. excited nko sa camp. =)

"The hardest part about walking away from someone is the part where you have to realize that there is not a single chance for that someone to run after you"

my celebrity look-alikes

2007-05-21T02:14:00.000-07:00

..beyonce knowles? haha! unbelievable.

Quotable Quotes

2007-05-20T18:15:00.000-07:00

~ i wish forgetting my feelings for someone was easy as digging a hole in the backyard, and burying it there, & leaving a cross over it to remind of how beautiful it once was. but it could never be like that. the truth is forgetting this feelings is very much like digging my very own grave and burying myself alive..

~ it is always painful to know that someone is irrevocably gone and all that's left are memories of beautiful days gone by. sometimes it boggles my mind why people fall in love, then say goodbye; why they cannot belong forever when at first they can never seem to part.

~ i bid him goodbye like it's nothing while all i want to do is hold on forever but i let go, smiled and walked away.. then cried all the way home because i know it will never be the same, because try as i might, i cant make someone love me, sometimes we have to set them free and let go, that's when love hurts most of all..

~ i drank and got hangover, i smoked and i coughed, i fought abd got wounds. there's one thing i hate the most but i still do it, it's when i loved and got hurt. then i stopped drinking so i didnt gt hangovers anymore,stopped smoking, coughing stopped too. i stopped fighting and the wounds healed.. do you think i should stop loving too?

~ it's not DESTINY that determines LOVE it is CHOICE. our so called dastiny is a lie.. RELATIONSHIPS lasts long not because they're destined to, but because two BRAVE people made a choice - to keep it, to fight for it, & to work for it. Meanwhile, other relationships fail not because they're destined to fail, they failed because one of the two or both, made the choice - to set eaach other free. :((

~it's hard to accept that the person i love most can't love me.. i don't wanna give up but i have to. i wanna fight but the pain weakens me. how can i truly be happy when my own happiness has left me?

~ sometimes i need to be deaf for the sake of somebody. i need to be insensitive to lessen the pain. i need to smile for the streght of others and sometimes, i just need to stop because im tired of everything.

~ part of me wants to hate him, forget him.. forget everything about him, but.. the STRONGER part of me misses him, wants to be in his arms holding me tight till the pain fades away..

excited

2007-05-20T18:07:00.000-07:00

..haay,as usual, it's crappy monday, and it's my 2nd to the last day at work. yey! hooray for that..wala lang, napapagod nrin kse ako, and nahihirapan, pro the qorking experince is all worth it. =) my boss actually thought na nung friday ung last day ko, and if i had known that she thought that way, hindi na sana ko pumasok ngaun..it feels like im here for nothing din naman eh, kse nagiinternet lang din nmn ako minsan so i felt like ako ung nakakalamang sa kanila,and ayoko nun. (goodgirl ata ko,)dapat parang commensurate lang ang work at pay. =) aun, 2 days nlng, camp na. woohoo, i couldnt be more excited. wala lang, kse prng it's my wind up time to be with God,myself and my friends of course. ang saya saya. haay.. ttfn!

~13 days before my birthday. o_0

mood: sleepy, caffeine drowning.

2007-05-18T23:36:00.000-07:00

..haay, tinatamad akong mag-work. dahil sa sobrang inaantok nko, bka masungitan ko lang ung mga callers ko,. grabeh. gusto ko ng hazelnut cappuchino. :((

go-see.solarium

2007-05-17T21:42:00.001-07:00

..i like the new skin and look of my blog. :) ang gloomy. anyways, galing akong Go-see kahapon, sana makuha ako.. *fingers crossed* and sa SOLARIUM, man.. ang sarap magpray dun. :) il definitely come back.

anyways, picture muna.. starbucks with my sibs.

not so healthy dinner

2007-05-17T01:55:00.000-07:00

..late na kami dumating ni achi and wala na kaming nadatnang food..aun nagtyaga sa balot at blueberry cheesecake.. di bale faves ko nmn parehas. .wink.

..wish upon a star.

2007-05-16T22:27:00.000-07:00

..ok so it's only 19 days before my birthday, and i dont really know if im happy or not that it was bound to come. as for sa mga nakakakilala kase sken..alam nmn nila kung anong gusto ko sa birthday ko,. isa lang naman..at un na un. you know, all my life i have never experienced the happiest i can say na birthday ko, except last year. it's actually kung hindi umuulan, ng malakas at mastuck sa mall na brownout, e usually im at home lang garnering greetings from friends and whoever remembers that day. pinakamasaya na ung last year, not because it's my eighteenth birthday,but.basta. hehe..anyways, gagawa ako ng wishlist ko. =)

My birthday Wishlist.Ü♥

1. My ultimate wish, ______. yes, its you.

2. New phone, probably Nokia 6300 or 5300.

3. Mango bravo cake from contis

4. Starbucks water bottle, ung parang pang kids.

5. Nivea Lip gloss

6. hollywood shades

7. starbucks GCs

8. hugs for the hurting heart - book eto,i just forgot the author

9. a hug from everyone that i love

10. a smile from everyone who greets me

..uhm,yan nlng muna, il make dagdag nlng if may maisip pko. *wink*

2007-05-16T22:00:00.000-07:00

..if FATE had been good at us, it could have been 11 beautiful months.

...

2007-05-11T20:46:00.000-07:00

~ il y a beaucoup de im de choses a effrayé de, mais..

une vie sans vous m'effraie plus..

~bored.

2007-05-11T17:45:00.000-07:00

..it's saturday. and im off to work.. nakakabore when i could just be at home loafing around or even hanging out with my friends, or nsa church tumutulong sa fund raising. haayy,,,i guess il be burning my butt off here, waiting for 5:30 to come..huhu..

2007-05-08T21:51:00.000-07:00

..bigla akong nalungkot when suddenly someone asked me how "he" was. :(( *sob*

2007-05-06T21:21:00.000-07:00

You know, I've never really understood what happened between us...how and why we came to this - i never really thought that all this time, i am - fighting a losing battle. i tried to communicate, i tried all my best to let you feel that despite what you've done, i still care.. and that im still waiting, waitig to be with you again. but i cant understand why and how you fell out of love. and now i dont know what to do, now that you still hadn't talked to me. i cant barely describe what im feeling, but it's eating me. it's just so sad that your love has to go away,but then i understand. afterall,i was the one to blame for all of this in the first place. i know i was the one who made you that way.

the past is really one thing that i would cherish for the rest of my life. wonderful moments ive had with you, they sure are wonderful and i had to admit that i still will reminisce all those. the times when we're spending a lot of time together, talking, eating, watching movies, we would always choose to closely sit next to each other with your arm around my shoulders and my hand on your lap...we would hold hands and be very affectionate with each other...we even had private jokes that we didn't want to explain or share with anyone else...and every moment we spent together was fun even if we weren't doing anything at all.

i want you to know that.. I loved you with all my heart, and love you still, but I'm tired - I'm tired of fighting for a love that has lived its moment...of living on memories that are special only to me...

Thank you for everything...for taking away my insecurities; for showing me that people do love me for who I am; for making me understand that people I love will hurt me but it doesn't necessarily mean they love me any less, and that when they do hurt me, it is possible to forgive, forget and move on with life; for making me realize it is possible to trust again after getting hurt. Thank you too for giving me the most painful lesson in my life thus far...that the moment you love someone you have given him the capacity to hurt you, that how much you hurt is equal to how much you have loved, that getting hurt is proportionate to having too many expectations. Thank you for accepting me and allowing me enough room to grow at the same time...for inspiring me and making me want to become a better person. Thank you for being there when I needed you - for the silly and the serious moments; for making me laugh, smile and cry all at the same time; for holding my hand when I'm nervous or scared; for giving me a hug and wiping away my tears when I'm sad or confused; for never failing to make me feel better no matter how down or how depressed I've become; for unselfishly sharing my joys and my happiness. Most of all, thank you for making me feel special, for making me feel loved, even if it was so ambiguous and so fleeting I was hardly conscious about it.

For now, I'm letting you go, I'm letting us go. I've finally accepted that this is the way things would have to be, that i should allow us both to be free enough to seek whatever it is that will truly make us happy. Even if it isn't with each other. but if ever, you change your mind, and the feelings for me suddenly came back, don't hesistate to come back, for i will still be waiting..because i know that what we had back then was real.

I must admit you probably won't be too far away from my thoughts, and that thinking of you will still bring that tinge of sadness and regret. But I'm okay. I will be okay. Loving again may take awhile though. For now, I'd concentrate on healing myself, on making myself complete on my own - so that when the right one finally comes, I'll be able to give myself to him as I would have wanted to give myself to you.

voila!

2007-05-01T21:03:00.000-07:00

..haay,kakatapos lng ng much awaited vacation ko from work..

Friday, April 27th

i got back to school, (which i missed soo much) only to find out na they're not pre-advising students not until on maybe the last week of May,. Pro it's ok, i got to hang out with my friends nmn that day,.

Saturday, April 28th

FONTANA baby, haay..it was scourging heat but it was scourging F-U-N. though medyo i stayed alert dahil "meron" ako that day, but nagswim pdin ako, haha! alert dhil bka maging red sea ung mga pool..hehe, anyways, ive had fun camwhorig with friends and churchmates..aun, i find it very relaxing since sobrang nasubsob ako sa work the past weeks.. =)

Sunday, April 29th

i just stayed at home, and watched HEROES the whole afternoon pagkagaling sa church.. bonding with dad and nathan.

Monday, April 30th

work day. pumasok ako only to find out na maraming absent, haha.. because they're pushing they're vacation na to the limit since it's holiday the following day.. aun, internet lang ako the whole day dahil wala si boss. and oh ive got my first paycheck too. =) in cold cash.. hehe..

Tuesday, May 1st

woohoo, holiday. naglaba kami nina mommi dahil umalis ung helper nmn..aun,ive gone to 168 to look for slacks, and ive bought one.. and spandex, and a blouse ive been dying to have since december which good thing meron pa,.and a cute bag which is a big steal at only 100 bucks..cool dibh.. *winkies*

..aun, im soo into Grey's anatomy lately..i mean the whole vacation, season three nko,. woohoo1 xo i havnt finished it since they've called to report for work na last month, so un,,. im planning na tapusin un maybe afetr i resign from work.. whew.. excited.. it doesnt get anybetter than this.. smoochies to you all. Ü♥

..i answered the grey's anatomy quiz while blurbing onto the site (while working, sideline muna..hehe..) aun, ive got Meredith, which was kinda ok rather than having Cristina's rough edge..hndi ko macopy coz it was in flash form para makita pati ung pic ni meredith however, here's what it said:

You're Meredith

you dont always make the right choices, but you get points for trying, bouncing right back andstarting over. for being so "dark and twisty", you hace a surprisingly sunny outlook on life. you'requick to jump into new relationships but just as quick to jump out. after the example your parentsset, learning to trust someone else takes just about everything you've got.

..cool dibah. ~still missing someone,.

2007-04-29T18:44:00.000-07:00

..ok so, its' monday, and it's crappy. as usual,. and there isnt any sign that my boss is coming for work today, i hope she does so that i'll be doing something naman and hindi mabore.. sometimes i kinda wish i didnt go to work nlng, but a more side of me has this urge to really try, (that's why im here), but it's ok,. im still adjusting and it's like 2 weeks nlng nmn eh and then i'll be leaving na,.

~the travel.work.break time.uwian.

ganito pla ang feeling of working in a corporate setting,. (for those of you who have no idea,) you go leave home for work, at at least 7 am in the morning to catch a bus that's so siksikan, or an fx to where you're headed na it's like 20:1 ang ratio, 1 is the fx's and 20 is for those who's waiting for it, (sometimes if you do get lucky and have the "EDGE" according to my sister who's working here in ortigas too, you'd be able to grab a seat fast enough, if you ran fast enough and not wait for another 30 mins, or so for another fx,)..MRT' s has actually more worse condition, especially during rush hours during mondays, crap, you'd wish you just have super powers and fly off to office. haha! and then you arrive at work, hoping that you're not late for that 8:30 or 9:00 am call time, and sit and maybe do some office work, wait for 10:00 am for break time.. yah, whether it's a yosi break or chat break, (for me it's internet time especially if there's a lot of things i do for the day) and then, go back to work crossing fingers that it would be 12:00 noon na, and have lunch break.. it's like an hour or so, and then work, work, then came 3:00 pm, it's break time ulit, yosi break, daldal break blah blah blah, and then back to work only to wish that the clock strikes 5:00 pm or 5:30 for some, (like mine.) and then voila! uwian time..! haha..

and the same thing goes everyday..everytime. it's just like a rotation of maybe a boring life for some, (especially if rank & file lang sila,) but if you've gpot friends it would be much nicer to go to work everyday.. uhm, aun, so much for blogging, my boss hasnt appeared yet, i guess i'll be just have to kill time sitting here and maybe taking calls all day, ciao!

2007-04-24T02:21:00.000-07:00

..i miss AOT.

2007-04-23T19:49:00.000-07:00

Tough question. I don't even know how or where to begin. I'm not sure if I could possibly find the right words to express what or how much I feel for him, let alone explain why I love him.

Why do I love him?

I guess I just do. I love him just because. I love him just because that's the most natural and possible thing to do.

I love him.

I love him because he's the most incredible, wonderful, amazing and fantastic guy I have ever known in my entire life. I love him because he's sweet, charming, smart, witty, and has a great sense of humor. I love him because he's so cool he's hot.

I love him because he makes me smile. I love him because he makes me laugh. I love him because he makes me happy. I love him because he's the one and only guy who has ever made it through my wall and seen right through my mask. I love him because he accepts the real me, imperfections and all, and still appreciates me for who I am.

I love him for being my friend. I love him because I could be whatever I want to be in front of him. I love him because we could talk about anything and everything under the sun.

I love him because I feel safe when I am with him. I love him because we are comfortable with each other. I love him for giving me a helping hand when I had to pick myself up, but couldn't. I love him for offering his shoulder for me to lean on to when I had to be strong, but wasn't.

I love him for the kilig moments we had. I love him for always making me feel better, about myself and life in general. I love him for making me feel special. I love him for making me feel loved. But most of all, I love him for making me feel. I love him for making me realize that I am capable of feeling this way and this much for someone. I love him for making me feel alive.

So, why do I love him?

I love him because he's all of these and more. So much more. I love him because he's everything.

2007-04-19T21:18:00.000-07:00

For the past months, I have grown to like you, care for you, and love you. Everyday is like falling in love again and again. You mended my heart when it was badly pierced and cushioned my fall when no one was willing enough to catch me. Your endearing grace and your untarnished love made me fall in an unfathomable realm of love and devotion with no certainty of being loved in return. You taught me how to love again and ransomed me from fear's grasp of failing. And now, I am embarking in my journey with you guiding me in every stroke of the oars.

I always wanted to be right beside you, I know for myself that never will come a time it will be granted. I do not want you gone. I wish we could be together for eternity. I have now developed the fear of solitude-of being alone and left behind. I am showered with your unconditional love second to none. With the sighing winds, I whisper that these wishes would reach the farthest ether. I do not want all of these to be just a sequestered happiness. I want this feeling to stay for a million years..even if you're not with me..

I was on my bed when I murmured a hymn with a lonely monotonous tune. I was sad for I am not certain what is ahead of us. I am bereft for this kind of feeling for such a long time and I have not felt anything like this before. And then, there was you. You are the one who filled up that empty space and patched holes in my heart.

I always hoped for a happy ending, but this time, it is the least of my worries-for my love for you will simply not end.

Am I lucky to have you? If your intentions are pure and what have you shown me in the last months were true, indeed, I am lucky. If the contrary, I am still lucky, for you have let me experienced the joys and comfort of loving and being loved. And if you would ask me if I love you, I would reply with a straight face with no shade of doubt, "I love you for a million years..."

..At one time inyour life, the one you have loved most will unexpectedly turn out to be the greatest stranger you have ever met..

2007-04-18T21:52:00.000-07:00

..oh my gulay,. so inet!!!! but i'm actually not feeling the heat wave dahil ang lamig dito sa office.. 17 degrees, (buti nlng im hired, i wont have to suffer sa bahay..heeh) if i'm at home and being a summer bum, i'd probably craving for one of these babies, but even if i don't (like now..)n i'm still craving for: STARBUCKS Mango Tea Frappucino. my ultimate fave..or or a pint of choco mocha ice cream..haayy.. eyon, wala lang, i'm doing nothing here kase, my boss came in late and she hadnt given me anything to do yet, so eto,. net net lang muna.. *wink*

~currently listening to: acon - don't matter.

2007-04-18T01:13:00.000-07:00

..i'm craving for: Mcdo Fries and float.Ü but i can't buy not until 530 pa,mmm...crave ko tlga sha.. *wink*

-office bum,i'm done with my work na and it's good na my boss is at the other department, waahaha,..- ♥

2007-04-17T20:38:00.000-07:00

..it's my sixth day at work. (yeah, im working. *grin* ) and medyo i'm feeling a bit at ease with it na. i dont want to be a bum at home kse kaya i opted to work kahit medyo not so malaki ang compensation. it's ok, it's experience.Ü

dapat kse tga uurong nko dito, kse unang una, the place is not so accessible. malayo smin kea i have to wake up early to beat my 8:30am sked, and only god knows how i hate waking up early (that's why im a bit tall. hehe..) tapos considering my situation, i'm SINGLE.. biyahe could get very very lonely,. =( uhm, enough with that.. and being "bago" too really sucks..

i remember my first day.. of which sobrang biglaan, Ms. nika the HR aast. texted me and asked me to come back and bring my medical, so akala ko nmn may interview pa or something, and in the back of my mind, ndi na dapat tlga ko tutuloi. but then i was so surprised wen i asked her.. "uhm kelan po ba ko magstrt?!" then she said "ngaun na.."

aun, hindi ko tuloi ntapos ung commitment ko sa DVBS, which truly sucks. e i have no choice nrin,. aun, my first day had been a real bum. i wanted to go home, i waited from 830 to 3pm sa boss ko, and grabeh antagal!!! and to think ako lang magisa sa testing room so ive got no one to talk to, wala din akong load kya hindidn ako mktext, grabeh tlga.. nasulat ko to sa sobrang ka boring-an:

..haay, first time kong kumain magisa,, grabeh, parang gusto ko nalang matunaw, magevaporate at lahat para mawala nako at maerase na s earth. ganito pla ang feeling ng first day at work..unexplainable. parang gusto ko nalang umuwi.. medyo oldies na kase dito eh, at ung iba namang hindi pa oldies eh, nevermind... grabeh, hindi masarap ang feeling..ang gutso ko lang ngaun eh umuwi nlng at magpahinga.. mukang magiging sobrang dugo ng bakasyon ko ha, at limited lang ang mga gimik..so it means HELL ang buong May ko, nagun mapapanis na ang laway ko, eto pa naman ng "most-hated-feeling-in-the-world" ko.. yeah mas first pa sa heartbreak.. grabe, sobra. naiiyak nko.. tas wala pa sya sa tabi ko kaya mas lalo akong mahina....blah,blah,blah..

and the story goes on... ayan, ive noticed na ilang beses kong naulit ang "gusto ko nang umuwi" which is tlgang gusto ko na..haha.. but now.. mm..medyo at ease nko, medyo lang.. im still making a few adjustments sa oldie world na kinalalagyan ko.. after a few days, naisip ko nang.. "ano naman kung alone ako kumain sa cafeteria?! they wont see me na namn after a month eh,so ok lang..aun, goodthing ung department im in, were very jolly and accomodating people.. (oh man, i prayed for that.) di tulad sa kabila,, hehe..they're good nmn pro hindi lng sila ganun ka accomodating at times.. uhm, so aun, office girl nko,.. i thnk i could cope up with it nmn for the mean time, at least this pre-occupies me..and keeps me busy..haay, so much for living this life.. so full of complexities, but then im still thankful for it. *wink* Ü♥

2007-04-16T21:38:00.000-07:00

..getting over you became an obsession for me.

But i realized that getting over someone could never be a matter of choice. we can't choose to forget someone, time does that for us. obviously, time hasn't decided for me yet.

HURT.

Everytime i remember something about him isn't exactly new anymore, and the toughest thing about it is that the sting lingers long after the wound has supposedly healed.

Everytime i remember him, i get this insane feeling of sadness as everything in the universe is useless because i don't have him.

why is it that my heart could not break away from you when everything else had?

why is it that i feel as if time has no intention of giving me my due?

..i want to forget him. i NEED to forget him.

all i want is to put to rest all the feelings i have harbored for the longest time.

the hurt i felt was nothing new because it never really left me, it's still there..

as painful as ever.

2007-04-16T01:04:00.000-07:00

Brighten my heart

My heart is as dark as the soil sodden with winter rains.
My soul is as heavy as the peat freshly dug from the bog.
My thoughts swirl like willow branches caught in autumn winds.
My body as tense as a cat's as it stalks its prey.

Chorus

Help me open my heart to you,Help me open my heart to you,
Help me open my heart to you, oh jesus.
It's what i long to do.

My heart is as dark as the soil sodden with winter rains.
(Lord, brighten my heart)
My soul is as heavy as the peat freshly dug from the bog.
(Lord, lighten my soul)
My thoughts swirl like willow branches caught in autumn winds.
(Lord, still my thoughts)
My body as tense as a cat's as it stalks its prey.
(Lord relax my body)

2007-04-16T00:01:00.000-07:00

..hindi na tlga kita maintindihan, ewan ko pero parang sa tuwing gusto mo lang akong kibuin, tska kalang lumalapit.

medyo masaya nakong nakikipaglban sa agos ng buhay, medyo nasasanay, o at least sa iniisip kong mas mabuti na kung hayaan nlng kita..total yan nman tlg ang gusto mo. pero isang gabi, bigla ka nagparamdam. umaga ko na nabasa ito dahil tulog na ko ng gabing un dahil sa pagod sa trabaho. hindi ko akalain na magtetext ka.

aba, nakaalala..

may halong tuwa at pagkabagabag ang naramdaman ko. bakit kaya sya nagparamdam?, pero, naisip ko, bka wala lang magawa.. naisip ko rin na bka naiisip nya pdin ako, na lubos na ikinatuwa ng maliit at butas butas ko nang puso. ilang beses na binasa ito, sa dahilang bihira n lamang ang ganito. pero nalungkot din ako, mas nalungkot kesa sa natuwa. malamig ka padin. at ako naman tong si tanga, nagreply nanaman syo.

hindi naman ako nagalit eh, kahit kailan hindi. pero sa ma nangyayari ngayon, hindi ko na tlga alam kung anong maramadaman ko sayo. mahal kita pero kailangan ko ng tulong mo para maka-move on ako. dahil kung hindi, baka hindi mo nako makita habang buhay.

2007-04-13T19:24:00.000-07:00

..four seasons of loneliness.

I long for the warmth of days gone by When you were mine But now those days are memories in time Life’s empty without you by my side My heart belongs to you

No matter what I try

When I get courage up to love somebody new It always falls apart ‘cause they just Can’t compare to you You love won’t release me I’m bound under ball and chain Reminiscing our love as I watch four season’s change.

In comes the winter breeze That chills the air and drifts the snow And I imagine kissing you under the mistletoe When springtime makes its way here Lilac blooms reminds me of the scent of your perfume When summer burns with heat I always get the hots for you Go skinny dippin’ in the ocean where we used to do When autumn sheds the leaves the trees are bare

When you’re not here it doesn’t feel the same

Remember the nights when we closed our eyes And vowed that you and I would be in love for all time Anytime I think about these things i shared with you I break down and cry ‘cause I get so emotional Until you release me I’m bound under ball and chain Reminiscing our love as I watch four seasons change

This loneliness Has crushed my heart Please let me love again ‘Cause I need your love to comfort me and ease my pain Or four seasons will bring the loneliness again

2007-04-08T19:09:00.000-07:00

"i thought i'll never get over you, but maybe i will.. but for now, i still really can't."

crying lady nanaman ako. ewan, pro i really find comfort in doing that. no matter what others may say, or think, i won't stop doing it. it has beenmy waepon for comfort against pain lalo na sa mga bagay na i can't share with anyone but myself.yes, i've got the Lord on my side and i thank him becausei can feel his loving arms and soothing words coming in inside me while i was hurting. alam mo, i really don't know what i'll feel na about you and myself.

"..hindi naman kaylangang laging masaya eh.."

oo. i admit. im of a cheerful state of character that's why someone doesnt really notice agad if i have problems inside. but honestly, i do have. a lot. my friends don't normally see me crying, but my bed and pillows do..every now and then.

"kapag nakadapa ka pala, walang ibang magtatayo sayo kundi ang sarili mo."

move on. let go. - these are one of the few words i was really scared to encounter with. but i know i had to face my fears, but right now, i just don't know how. not with all the memories still linger around me each and every day, the memories that haunt me, that traps me, and that which seems to never let me go.

"If your heart gets broken by the one you truly love, don't let go of the love in your heart but let go of the person you'll never know, someone might be worthy of that love."

"There are things you can't see, but you choose to believe. REASONS you have, but you can't explain. MISTAKES you cant bring yourself to regret, and a LOVE so questionable, but you still choose to fight."

"You will never realize how much you care about a person until.. the thought of that person being with someone else is enough to break your heart."

..should i let you go?

2007-04-04T11:32:00.000-07:00

..i don't know what happened. i didn't even knew you weren't with me anymore. it hurts. yes,. a lot actually. i tried to bring you back, but i can't. i waited, i prayed. and wished that i'l never get tired. but you did. i thought that the second time around, we will finally happy.. we were, but it didnt lasted. i'm tired of fighting for the same exact reason everyday, i love you, so much. that this time, im finally letting go.

"i'd point my gun to head.. i'd pull the trigger.. i'd be dead. i could always choose this easy way to end my life.. but i choose to love because it's the sweetest way i could kill myself.."

2007-04-04T11:27:00.000-07:00

only thing i know for sure..

is i don't care anymore.

..and it hurts.

2007-02-11T00:23:00.000-08:00

..just because my eyes dont tear doesnt mean my heart doesnt cry.. and just beacuse i come out strong doesnt mean there is nothing wrong. often i choose to pretend im happy so i don't have to explain myself to people who will never understand..smiling has always been easier than explaining why im sad..

2007-02-11T00:03:00.000-08:00

..Picture, Picture!

_a recent good-samaritan deed, at Bethany Orphanage with the lil angels.

_lollipop.

_coffee with my USTe friends

_pinkarecent na picture. *camwhore*

..at a friends' birthday, seaside.

..photoshoot.

2007-01-13T03:45:00.000-08:00

..haay, fossilized nanamn ang blog.. prelims week approaching, i still havn't had reviewed.

2007-01-02T16:44:00.000-08:00

..new start.

..new year, new pictures.

school starts tomorrow, huhu..

*group pics are with my cousins, and the trio, my sister and baby bro, and new year's eve with mom.

2007-01-01T02:20:00.000-08:00

..Happy New Year.

..bum christams day.

2006-12-25T22:39:00.000-08:00

..medyo home buddy ngaung christmas., ended up taking pictures of myself. vanity stikes back. hehe..=)

me.me.me

nagkasugat pko sa kamay, huhu..ouch.

..gusu ko pumunta ng sm.

..new phone.

2006-12-25T12:01:00.000-08:00

..wish ko lang diba.

N73

3.2 megapixel camera
3G (WCDMA) / EDGE / GPRS / GSM
Camera focused
Carl Zeiss optics
Auto focus feature
S60 3rd Edition
Out of the box support for upload to to Flickr
Monoblock form factor

_my ultimate wish this christmas.=) impossible.

kahapon sa church, santas' reindeers. MERRY CHRISTMAS ulit.=)

2006-12-25T06:40:00.000-08:00

..santa in the beach.

Students join sand sculpture artists to create a 30-meter-long (100-foot-long) Santa Claus sculpture on the Puri golden beach, in the Indian state of Orissa on the eve of Christmas, Sunday, Dec. 24, 2006. Though Hindus and Muslims comprise the majority of the population in India, Christmas is celebrated with much fanfare.

..wala lang, ancute.=)

..celebrations.

2006-12-24T09:49:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas! =)

Happy 18th birthday to my dearest friend, Teng. *wee major kna, di na minor,* hehe..saya noh, pasko birthday?..

_twas the day before christmas.

2006-12-23T08:30:00.000-08:00

..it's a day before christmas.

i probably think na this is one of the saddest, uhm, not actually saddest but definitely one of the most poignant christmas ive ever had in my 18 years existence, or maybe not 18, 14 or for so as i can remember..hmm, wala lang, it seems na from every point where i tend to look at some things this holiday, parang talagang hirap na lahat.

they used to say "mahirap na tlaga ang buhay.." i agree. even ung mga fortunate ones eh i can say medyo tipid din especially na ung mga less fortunate diba, mas lalo silang tight fisted. i had to admit, mas konti ung natanggap kong gifts ngaun kesa last christmas, pero i didnt based my opinion on this dyan, medyo totoo lang tlga cya sa na-observed ko.

ewan ko, maybe i just tend to overthink over some things. haay.. pero i know hindi naman dapat un ung isipin natin dahil hindi naman un ung reason ng christmas eh, oh boy, i do am really glad na i know that.. i just wish na everybody that's celebrating christmas eh alam un. oh well, the least i can do is pray.. pray that they got to meet and celebrate rightly on the true meaning of Christmas.

MeRrY CHRISTmAs! =)

--> pics from UST paskuhan 2006.

..a week to go before classes again. darn.

~by the river piedra, i sat down and wept.

2006-12-22T10:16:00.000-08:00

i had the chance to see the view by the window

a sea of shining stars one night with you

and i wished that the time would stop

while watching them sparkle beside you

but i rather look somewhere than viewing the sky

somewhere that is more beautiful than a shooting star

more shimmering than a glitter glow

i was looking at you..

and the time did stop, i have gently controlled it

for i can do the impossible for you

that is how much i care, i trust

i adore, i love.. that somewhere..

i hope i can repeat that moment..

and i know i can.. i will..

for that moment we've held hands..

while watching the stars, well-blended with the nightsky.

"if pain must come, may it come quickly. Because i ahve to live, and i need to live it in the best way possible. If he has to make a choice, may he make it now. Then i will either wait for him or forget him. waiting is painful. forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering."

~by the river piedra, i sat down and wept.

_im dreaming of a white, christmas.

2006-12-08T02:50:00.000-08:00

..pasko na sinta ko,.

..the cold chilly air serenely brushes off my face, as i wait on the jeepney i'll be riding home. the busy streets filled up with busy christmas lights with numerous people wandering around the city. the smell of fresh and yummy puto bungbong & bibingka luciously fills the air,, the jolly carols on any corner,with children caroling in different homes,. and not to mention, jampacked malls and bazaars everywhere causing major traffic in mostly very road in the metro,. in a week or so, simbang gabi will now start for the filipino devotees..

yes, indeed it's already christmas.

it is somewhat true that christmas is just around the corner. it's like today it's summer, next thing you know it's yuletide again. i dont know why but it makes me feel good to having known that it's christmas. aside that it's my favorite season, it's also nice to think about that everyone's happy during this time of the year. kahit walang pera,masaya pa din,. i particularly think that it's a better thought to start the year right. grabeh, ang bilis tlga ng panahon. im turned 18 just this year and next thing i know,ill be voting for the national elections this coming may of 2007. (it makes me feel like ang tanda ko na tuloy.) haay,it's time to think of my resolutions na. =)

..there's plenty of christmas parties im gonne be invloved too. that's why im saving up some money for my gifts as well. somehow i thought, the spirit of christmas came late this year, because of the recent 'bagyong reming' which brought sadness on the part of those living in disastered areas especially in aklan. but with or without calamities, christmas will still come. it's nice to know that the ONE up there is really still gracious enough to fill our hearts with His loving grace, enough to celebrate the true meaning of this season, the coming of our savior, Jesus Christ.

_anyways, prepping up for christmas includes my :

Christmas Wishlist! =)

1. vanity kit sa penshoppe

2. N73

3. new set of heels

4. new havaianas tops

5. iv.gig

6. dolce & gabbana light blue or tahiti calgon

7. that-gray-thing from humor post

8. starbucks 2007 planner (impossible.)9

. yellow hairbrush1

0. skinny jeans

11. syempre LOTS and LOTS of Chocolatesssss..!

2. portfolio

13. bangs

14. new bag

15. maybelline lipgloss/lip smooth

16. hun

:if anyone gave me even one of these things, i will love you for the rest of my life. *wink*

_photo

2006-12-04T03:59:00.000-08:00

picture picture! mdyo addict nko, haha! me and my new haircut. *wink*

..blah!

2006-11-30T05:36:00.000-08:00

..haay, walang pasok..due to the bagyo nanamna, of which even a single drop of rain ay wala today,. pro buti nrin un, at least i've been safe from another life ruining day of school..haha! ive got a new haircut pla, ! hehe..actually it's been 2 wiks now..pics to be posted next time, too lazy to put pics right now..ttfn!

_you're not here.

2006-11-29T06:23:00.000-08:00

you feel sick today
having a cold feeling of everything
but i am here, at my bed
too afr to give u what u shud be getting
from me..

but u cant only imagine what i did
i stay in my bed,got a pillow and love
i thought of it as you
for you will feel better now

crazy? yes i am. crazy for you..
insane to always be at your side
im losing my head because i miss you A LOT
and now im dying because of loneliness of you..

i hope when you read this you'll believe
that every minute you're away, im fading..
every second you're not here, im nearing death..
and everytime you're not seen, im blinded by tears..

_sino nagsulat?*secret* mmm,nagandahan lang ako kaya pinost ko. *wink*

~issue~

..poof.

2006-11-08T23:50:00.000-08:00

..nakakainis!

ang mga professor na hindi pumapasok! they only give us a reason lalo na hindi pumsok, kse in the same way ng katamaran nila..e nahahawa kame na wag na pumasok sa next subject! haay naku, nakakaasar ata ang tumunganga ng 1hr or so tapos wala namang papasok, ung iba,, epal tlga, papasok 30 or 40 mins. late.! pro there's this 15 min rule sa uste, if your prof is not around for 15 mins. considered na wala na pasok, andyan man sya or wala..pro ewan ko ung iba..pasaway..30 mins. na late pumapasok pa, e syempre magaatendance, tpos kmeng mga sumusunod sa rule e naaabsent pa.! epal tlga eh noh?! ano ba naman kse ang laban nmn sa mga prof na un...(nakoo...tlga!) bsta, ako..ipagdadasal ko nlng ung mga kaluluwa nila..mwahaha! si Lord na bhala..

..aun, nakakainis prin.

..quotable quotes.

2006-11-05T22:15:00.000-08:00

"The way to improve our situation is to take a step of Faith in obedience to God and follow him wherever he ask you to go, no matter how hard it might seem and no matter what the inital cost it may appear to be."

"Truth about Life is that.. Love is a gift, and that relationships are commitments and sexuality is a sacrament of spirituality."

"When the Lord is breaking you..it isn't to damage you beyond repair. He does it to prepare you so that He can use you in a far greater way. God's hand only gives what His loving heart dictates."

===========================================================================

..these are just some of, i dunno, quotes or sayings that really caught me uphanded on things that i want and wanting on with my life. maybe it is that i wanted to get out of the mediocrity that school brought to me that i was so fully contented with what's going on around me, of which i shouldn't be. i actually feel i little lost right now, because of the sudden gush of realizations that the camp had me thinkin.

camp..

2006-11-01T22:57:00.000-08:00

well, so much for my drama.. i realized na dapat nalang akong mgapakasaya and sulitin ang sembreak dhil 3 days from now..pasukan na ulit..! darn, anyways..pix..pix..pix..

some pictures from the camp..

kahit 5 days lang ako dun, God talked to me and i felt his loving presence that indeed, no matter how much unworthy i am..He cares. *wink*

..melancholic

2006-10-31T04:41:00.000-08:00

haay...it's been a month or so, i think since ung huling post ko.. dameng nangyare. but im too lazy to type and tell all of them right now..maybe later. or maybe never. ewan ko ba, i can't barely describe what im feeling ngaun, i should be happy. i should be. for kagagaling ko lang sa camp, of whcih God revealed ulit.. His goodness to me.. pro ewan ko, no matter how much i wanted to be happy, i just can't. ung happy na patawatawa lang, i can do it..pro deep inside..im breaking..

im sorry Lord, i know im not really worthy..and i wanna thank you for having been so good and loving..

ayoko na ng ganito..haayy...

..im back! =)

2006-09-14T22:13:00.000-07:00

grabeh, finals week is fast approaching.. err,

and we still have nothing to review pagdating nun, e kasi naman eh, puro activities lahat.. ive been to plenaries, conventions in different schools and bazaars, but konti lng ung time na we've spent inside the classroom. funny it may seem pro i liked it that way, at least we wont have to spend boring afternoons in the class when we can be outside having fun interacting with other people with a complete attendance and a grade, beat that.! haha!

siguro ganito tlga ang tourism life, and i believe na maganda ang skul ko (gO uste!) which prepares us to be full tourism professionals. astig. hehe..in two weeks or so, aalis nanamna kme, may 4 days-3nights tour nananman kme, woohoo.!

but not all this is fun, especially when you're pocket is aching already out of many bayads we have to give, hehe,. ang gastos grabeh, i was prety ashamed to ask for money to my parents anymore for you know, all my capricho and stuff kase ang laki ng gastos ko, tuition palng,

oh my gulay.

haay, so much for living a hectic life..pro ganun tlga, amalpit na namn ang sembreak eh, yipee! and oh, not to mention na we won the cheerdance compet ulit, (lupet!) and ksama sa final four, mmmm...

guess this means holiday para samen,. hehe.. *wink*

_Go,Go Thomasian Tigers!

2006-08-28T00:36:00.000-07:00

kamusta naman, USTe won pla kahapon, and whew...do i have to tell it? uhm. it's a miracle. haha! to think na ATENEO ang kalaban nila, hay, i dunno if it's just pure luck. But i rather settle for "ang galing ng USTe" rather than not having my Thomasian Pride compromised after all. *wink*

i didnt had the chance to watch it though, for some private reasons, but according to my classmates' piping-hot kwentuhan about it, i was able to know more.. na OT game pa pla, darn, i couldve watched live. masarap kasing manood ng live lalo na if we're bound to win,. hehe..as for our experince (the thomasians), once in a blue moon lang kame manalo, but i had to admit, i didnt seem to support them in anyways possible, haha! kasi nga ganun. (ano?! ang gulo.)

bsta, what's important is, we won. mwahaha! im a ateneo fan years back, when i was still in highschool but just like what my friends and most people who are involved in UAAP, they're quite of a mayabang na. what's tragic pa is that, yesterday's defeat was their first, repeat.. FIRST loss after a long series of games, actually 2nd round na..

but c'mon c'mon...i was starting to think..

"wow, if ever..final four...lupet.. mga isang week cgurong walang pasok..hehe.."

...darn, impossible. =)

_thought.

2006-08-19T00:03:00.000-07:00

mood:

..im missing my sweet munchkin.Ü

hope you did well in your exams....and yes, finally it's all over for now. =)

_what im loving now..wink

2006-08-18T23:15:00.000-07:00

uh, it's saturday and ive got nothing to do but to be a lazy bum just gaining weight out of gluttony in eating..haha! which is i gotta admit, one of my fave things to do, but without the gluttony part of course, it's bad.hehe..=)

wanna know somthing? im into this, picasa..wala lng, naaliw lng ako,.

out of boredom..just click it if you want it large.

_untitled.

2006-08-17T23:43:00.000-07:00

prelims week just ended.

and so as the Inaguration of our new college (where im in..) ITHM..(Institute of Tourism and Hospitality Management)..whew! that one was a heck of a headache for us, not to mention gastos because of the things and clothes we would wear at the parade...haay...

*pics, next time. (i was here in the lib lang kase.)

and un, balik to mediocre lazy regular classes days, though im a bit sure of the results of my exams...may mga mataas naman, *wink*

ang gara nga eh, my last exam expected was supposed to be last friday, pro na-resched kse ewan ko ba, wal daw ung prof...talk about waking up in the wee hours of the morning just to make aral and wala naman plang exam..grr...great. just great.

hmmm...and to think na we werent able to celebrate "happiness" sa kabusy-han...hay tlga,

well, i have to be going now, inaantok nko, my friends and i still have to wait for my other friend kase we'll be going to benz's crib to wala, makigulo and lumamon sa birthday party ng kanyang pamangkins..heheeh..ttfn!

_lazy days..

2006-08-07T00:26:00.000-07:00

_uyy..panalo ateneo yesterday..haha! not to mention na 40 points halos ang lamang nila, i dont know kung san ako kakampi..haha! kc sa sobrang katuwaan ko sa ateneo kahapon, (cutie pa lahat..*wink*), eh parang pwede nkong ide-bar ng UST dahil sa kabalimbingan..haha!

aun, ang tagal ko nang walang post, medyo busy ako eh,.. nagyon lang nawalan ng kasama pag break..hehe. and grabeh, hell week is coming..hala, im not even paid sa tuition ko, ang gara kse..

im a bit excited about sa inaguration ng new college namin, and bago din pla ang uniform namin, grabeh..ang init nun, we're like sales ladies pa..hm..pro it's ok, may binabagayn nman eh..*smiley*

..mm, got nothing much to say, xe sobrang lazy na ko this day, wala pla kaming pasok tom..good thing makakpagreview ako, at least.. bye for now..

..grr,

2006-07-21T00:35:00.000-07:00

..wala nanamang mga prof! *argh!* sana hindi nlng ako pumasok, hehe..=)

_special.

2006-07-16T03:36:00.000-07:00

sunday..i just feel sooo blessed sa service knina. wala lang, just to share. =) ang saya-saya, wala lang ulit..hehe, im just so happy today..today is something special kse, pro sorry guys, p-r-i-v-a-t-e eh, haha! bsta im happy. so happy.

..and speaking of sharing, i was browsin knina, when i suddenly noticed...

..ive been blogging for a year now.. yey! that's just soo cool. *smiley*

===================================================================

"I will be still and know you are GOD."

..suspended,ulit.

2006-07-12T07:39:00.000-07:00

today is the second day of suspension, uh...well, it's a good thing probably for most of us...xempre who didnt ever want a day off from all of the hectic stuff the school/work is bringing.. and it's really been a good thing for me, since ive been suffering from cramps all day..and for those who experience it as well, really know how it hurts. it hurts! so bad you just wanna throw yourself out. seriously.

anyhoo, with this 5-day holiday mother nature is giving us, oh my, i bet my fave to-die-for tigger pillow to it, that the professors are gonna kill us with loads of reports,assignments,book reports and quizzes forever! uh...just thinking of it makes me wanna succumb in my bed,and just sleep forever! haha! of course i cant do that. =)

not to mention my terror p.e prof..we have a practical test due tomorrow and my group still hasnt done anything! pag nagkaron ng pasok tom...L-A-G-O-T. haayy...so much for having cramps all day...im stucked in bed all afternoon, but im all better now.. gotta go guys,TTFN!

..suspended.

2006-07-12T00:43:00.000-07:00

oh boy, it's raining hard outside. and i was here, in front of the pc, kase... suspended.

classes were suspended kanina because of the terrible rain pour due to the storm. i was soooo glad and uber lucky to having been informed before even setting my foot outside. though i was already in my uniform and barely a brush away to go, when my frend called me. =)

aun, i was happy to relax here, be lazy all over again, haha! and do what i always loved to do, blog. and magread ng blog nila. *smiley* though i really have tons of things to do, not to mention na nawawala pla ang planner ko..with only my sun number indicated to contact whenevr found, and nako, sira ang pang-sun na cellphone ko...

..kamusta naman un dibah,

hay, buti nlang my dad will be funding me for a Postpaid line sa sun, woohoo! cant help but be excited.=) well, i might as well go on with my blog reading..haha! and oh, i forgot to tell you guys, it was parent's birthdays last week, uhm,

wala lang. hehe..=)

_three celebrations and a brownout.ü

2006-07-08T03:46:00.000-07:00

_uh,sorry guys..bagun ko lang napost tong subic escapade nmn..outsked eh,. anywyas here it is:

..today is saturday. and i remember the exact same time last saturday that had passed, (july1-2), my friends and i are on our way to subic. =) late na nga kme nakaalis xe ginagawa pa ung van na sasakyan namin. ü

the trip was fun, of course..wala nanamn kameng ginwa kundi laughtrip. sobrang laughtrip we almost had stomachaches out of it.

know what guys, kaya kame nagout-of-town, xe we're celebrating two or i mean three reasons,:

*Reg's here,kya un na ung official gala nmin before she leaves, (she'll leave on the 25th, *sob!*)

*It's Sed's birthday.

*It's MY BIRTHDAY. *smiley*

aun,though we had to admit na medjo short preparation ito, kya medyo palpak ung mga food..

overnyt sha eh,. but the original plan is, we will check-in sa isang beach front na hotel, (ay,anyhoo,sa sbma kame, Subic Bay Metropolitan Area,near the airport. for those of you who are wondering, yes, may beach po dun,) but we we're gabi na nga so when we arrived there sa anticipated place,FULLYBOOKED. sayang, we could've have atleast had our reservations done, pro medyo biglaan nga eh so wala kameng choice. anyway we had three options nman, (we have our friend Grethel to lead us nman dahil sya ang nakakaalam nun dahil lagi silang andun ng family nya.)

so the beach front option is out, we still had two. one is to rent a prang bahay, with 3 rooms,a kitchen and a sala, pretty good for not just an overnyt stay and for us, dahil we're 12 pax..but the cost was too expensive..it's ok kung hindi lng kme overnyt..and the last and most unliked option, a hotel na sinabi nyang medyo haunted..haha! we had really no choice kse it's gabe na and all of us we're starving..

when we got there,it's only a room. i mean, it's like two rooms connected with a cr, it's good enough for all of us naman,.aun..medyo haunted nga, pro sa ingay nam,maybe we droved the spirits away,. kung meron man. haha! aun, tpos here's the greatest,uhm..i cant even explain..

it was i think,2am...and im in my middle of my dreams..dahil sa pagod and dahil nrin sa super late na dinner..(like mindnight na kme nkakain dahil we di pwedeng iakyat ang food then we ended up ordering and ang tagaltgal ng food.) cla hinde ata natulog, *NAGBROWNOUT men, ang gara dibah..kamustah naman un. then after an hour or so, tska lng bumaba ung mga ksama ko dahil ang tagal, and eto ung explanation sa front desk.."sorry po, mamaya pa magkakaron ng kuryente dahil di kaya ng generator.." grabeh dibah, there was another hotel in front kxe,un ung less haunted,pro it was invaded by *KAChÉs..(our term for the koreans,) argh, kakainis sila, we we're about to swim kxe sa pool,but hindi daw pwede kxe ni-rent nadaw nila ng whole ung pool kxe AYAW NILANG KASAMA UNG MGA PILIPINO. what a...parang gets..?! (chot lingo,) they shouldnt have come dito kung ganon lng din, kapal.

anyways, so much for that kaches,nakakaasar lng sila..aun, we've had fun sa beach nung morning,then headed towards the pool after,, then watched pacquiao..haha..and home sweet home. =)

i had to admit na bitin..SOBRA. especially im with my super friends and a few extensions..ive had soo much fun..

_that night has been one of the most memorable one in my life, thank you *you-know-who.*

..nstp.whatever!

2006-06-25T02:32:00.000-07:00

hay..ive been to school kanina,ang odd dibah..sunday na sunday andun ako..at take note, COMPLETE UNIFORM! kaasar dibah,not to mention it was raining hard kanina, and we only stayed inside the classroom for less than an hour.hay nako tlga.

it was pretty cool though na puro net-based plang ang gagawin namin sa nstp. for the first sem lng xempre,(oh,i took CWTS pla,)..aun, the modules, the quizzes and even the attendance! lahat sa web.. (i actually thought na dibah,sa sobrang freedom nun, pwedeng pwede na mag-cheating! then it wouldnt be so hard anyways, but i wont do that. good girl ata to. =)

well, i gotta go, may quizzes pko tomorrow..(uh, sa nihongo!)Ü♥

*here are two of the MORE pics,when my friend reg arrived from the big apple NY! nun pa xa dumating actually,nagun ko lng nashare.. (we couldnt get enough of taking pictures sa sobrang miss nmn sa knya,i havnt downloaded ung iba.)

_after a year or so sa NY,here she is ulit, reg..(she's the one in black.)

_complete. ulit.

====================================================================

~Happy Birthday SED!~

Sleepwalking in Dreaming State

missyoubloggie

are you happy?

bliss

lost

i want m&m's

another sommersault season fades away

xoxo

homaygad higad

here i go again

bookworm

pitched

over

lil more

screwed

ngarag

oust gloria

wala akong maisip

up so early

burthdays

of mediocrity and confessions

how my L♥VE week went

whattaweek

saturday

the usual? nah..

first post

im dreaming of a white CHRISTmas

tula

tara na! biyahe tayo.

sense and sensibility

philisophical suicide

in the midst of mediocrity

piece of crap

the best damn thing is missing

cures for a broken heart

song

autobots,roll out!

late birthday post

odd.bday.

memoirs

jumping into gemini

last day

my celebrity look-alikes

Quotable Quotes

excited

mood: sleepy, caffeine drowning.

go-see.solarium

not so healthy dinner

..wish upon a star.

...

~bored.

voila!

..bum christams day.

..new phone.

..celebrations.

_twas the day before christmas.

~by the river piedra, i sat down and wept.

_im dreaming of a white, christmas.

_photo

..blah!

_you're not here.

..poof.

..quotable quotes.

camp..

..melancholic

..im back! =)

_Go,Go Thomasian Tigers!

_thought.

_what im loving now..*wink*

_untitled.

_lazy days..

..grr,

_special.

..suspended,ulit.

..suspended.

_three celebrations and a brownout.ü

..nstp.whatever!

_what im loving now..wink